Leadership can be messy. It is not always about having the right answers or being the smartest person in the room. For Delaine A. Deer, a leadership coach and author, it is actually the opposite. She has built her entire approach around admitting when she does not know something and creating space for others to shine. Her upcoming book Built to Lead captures this philosophy along with her work coaching women in industries that were not originally designed for them.
Creating Space for Others to Lead
Most people think leadership means having all the answers. Deer learned otherwise. “I believe that leadership is not about power or hierarchy. I think it is more important to focus on clarity, connection, and creating space for others to flourish,” she says. This is not just feel-good leadership talk. She means it literally. “What makes me stand apart is creating that space, allowing other people to even surpass you in their leadership. That is okay. It is a beautiful thing to see people grow in that way.” Not many executives would celebrate being surpassed by their team members. Deer sees it as the whole point. Her method starts with something simple but difficult for most leaders. “Leadership starts with that self awareness and then it continues to expand outwards. It is not about being the loudest person or having the dominant voice in the room. It is about creating a room where you can have many voices that are actually heard.”
Building Trust Through Vulnerability
Getting people to truly collaborate instead of just showing up to meetings requires a different approach. Deer walks into rooms and immediately levels the playing field. “When I walk into a room and everybody is focused on their own agenda, it is really hard to get them to work collaboratively for an ultimate goal,” she explains. Her solution sounds almost too simple. “What I do is make it so that I say, ‘Look, I do not know what I am doing here, but what I need from you is your experience. This is your place, this is where you can shine.’”
The vulnerability is intentional. “I make it so when I walk in the room, I am one of everybody. I am just another person. I just happen to be the one who speaks first or takes the initial lead.” She breaks the ice because most people will not, but once that happens, real collaboration can start. The payoff comes when people realize they are actually being heard. “They say, ‘Look, I am listening. She is hearing me. She is not putting what I have to say aside and doing her own agenda.’ I think that becomes important because then they actually feel valued.”
Listening to Honest Leadership Lessons
The best leadership advice Deer ever received came from her father. He told her to “just shut up.” When she asked for clarification, his response was brutally honest. “You are trying to hear your own voice. You are wanting people to think that you are powerful. You are wanting people to think that you are bigger than you are. Who cares?” His real message hit deeper. “What you need to do is shut up, listen, and be yourself the entire time. Be who you are authentically.”
That authenticity became her leadership signature. No pretense. No power games. Just showing up as herself. This extends to how she treats everyone on her team. “It does not matter if you are the CEO of a company or the janitor. Respect is given, and you have to respect everybody in the place that they are at. They are just as important.”
Deer currently runs several projects focused on developing other leaders. Her ProworksHive app serves women in male-dominated industries, while her Voice of Impact coaching helps women recognize their existing leadership abilities. “I do Voice of Impact for women to realize that they are already leaders. Every person has leadership in them,” she notes. She is also writing Built to Lead, scheduled for release in August. The book tells her story of finding her voice and leading without waiting for permission.
When it comes to innovation, Deer is not worried about AI replacing human leadership. “Innovation truly means questioning how things have always been done and having courage to build something new that actually works. Innovation is not just technology.” Her point is simple. Leadership means giving people space to question how things work and try something different. That is ultimately what separates her approach. Instead of protecting her position, she is actively working to create more leaders.
Follow Delaine A. Deer on LinkedIn for insights on inclusive leadership and empowering women in business.
